Love, in all its forms, is a central theme woven throughout the pages of the Bible. When it comes to the intimate act of love making, the Bible offers profound insights that are rooted in the context of a committed, loving relationship. It doesn’t merely provide a set of rules but delves deep into the spiritual, emotional, and physical aspects of this most intimate connection between two people.
Love Making in the Context of Marriage
Marriage as the Sacred Covenant
In the Bible, marriage is regarded as a sacred covenant ordained by God. It is a union of two individuals, a man and a woman, becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This union is not just a physical joining but a spiritual and emotional bond as well. Love making within marriage is seen as a beautiful expression of this oneness. It is a way for husband and wife to communicate their love, trust, and commitment to each other.
The book of Proverbs speaks highly of the marital relationship, emphasizing the importance of loyalty and exclusivity. Proverbs 5:18 – 19 states, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” Here, the imagery used is that of a deep and abiding love between a husband and wife. The idea of being “intoxicated with her love” suggests a passionate and fulfilling connection, of which love making is an integral part. This passage encourages married couples to find joy and satisfaction in each other, to embrace the physical aspect of their relationship as a gift from God. It’s a call to savor the love they share, to cherish the moments of intimacy, and to see their union as something truly special, a reflection of the divine love that binds them together.
A Safe and Intimate Space
Marriage provides a safe and intimate space for love making. It is a place where two people can be vulnerable with each other, free from the judgment and exploitation that can exist outside of this committed union. In a world filled with fleeting relationships and casual encounters, the Bible’s view of love making within marriage offers a sense of security and stability.
Ephesians 5:25 – 28 gives husbands the instruction, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” This passage not only emphasizes the self – sacrificial love that a husband should have for his wife but also implies that in the context of this loving relationship, love making is an act of self – giving. The husband, in loving his wife in this way, creates a safe environment where both can explore and enjoy their physical connection. Similarly, wives are called to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33), and this mutual respect forms the foundation for a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship within marriage. When a husband loves his wife with such devotion and a wife respects her husband, the bedroom becomes a place where they can fully express their love, without fear of being judged or rejected. It’s a place where they can let down their guards and be completely themselves, knowing that they are loved and accepted unconditionally.
The Spiritual Significance of Love Making
A Reflection of God’s Love
Love making within marriage is seen as a reflection of God’s love for His people. Just as God is in a loving, committed relationship with His creation, a husband and wife’s physical union mirrors this deep, abiding love. The Song of Solomon, an entire book dedicated to the celebration of love between a man and a woman, is often interpreted as an allegory for the love between God and His people.
In the Song of Solomon 2:16, the lover says, “My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies.” This sense of ownership and mutual belonging is not possessive but rather a reflection of the deep, exclusive love that exists. In the same way, God desires an exclusive, loving relationship with His people. Love making in marriage, with its elements of intimacy, trust, and commitment, serves as a tangible reminder of this spiritual truth. It is a way for couples to experience a taste of the divine love that God has for them, and in turn, to express their love and devotion to each other and to God. As they come together in this most intimate way, they are reminded of the unbreakable bond that God has with them, a bond that is based on love, faithfulness, and sacrifice.
A Spiritual Bonding Experience
Love making can also be a spiritual bonding experience for married couples. When two people come together in this most intimate way, there is a connection that goes beyond the physical. It is a moment where they can communicate on a level that words often fail to reach. In 1 Corinthians 6:16, it is written, “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.'” While this passage is cautioning against immoral sexual relationships, it also highlights the powerful bond that is formed through sexual union. In a marriage, this bond is a positive and sanctifying one.
Prayer and spiritual connection can enhance the experience of love making. Many couples find that starting their intimate moments with a prayer of gratitude to God for the gift of each other and for the relationship can deepen their connection. This spiritual awareness allows them to see their physical union as part of a larger, spiritual journey together. It is a way to invite God into their relationship, to seek His blessing and guidance, and to grow closer to each other and to God in the process. As they hold each other, they can feel the presence of God’s love surrounding them, strengthening the bond between them and filling their hearts with a sense of peace and contentment.
The Bible’s Caution Against Immoral Love Making
Adultery and Fornication
The Bible is clear in its condemnation of adultery and fornication. Adultery, which is sexual relations between a married person and someone other than their spouse, is considered a serious sin. In the Ten Commandments, one of the most fundamental moral laws given by God, it is stated, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). This commandment is not just a restriction but a protection for the sacred institution of marriage and for the emotional and spiritual well – being of individuals.
Fornication, which refers to sexual relations between unmarried people, is also discouraged. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 5, Paul writes, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.” The Bible views these immoral sexual acts as a deviation from God’s plan for human relationships. They can cause great pain, destroy families, and lead to a breakdown in trust and community. The pain of betrayal caused by adultery can shatter the lives of those involved, leaving emotional scars that may take years to heal. And fornication, while perhaps not as immediately destructive in some cases, still goes against the divine design for love and intimacy, leading to a sense of emptiness and unfulfillment.
The Consequences of Immoral Behavior
The consequences of engaging in adultery and fornication are severe, both in this life and in the spiritual realm. In the Old Testament, adultery was often punished by stoning (Deuteronomy 22:22). While modern societies have different legal systems, the emotional and relational damage caused by adultery remains. It can lead to the breakdown of marriages, broken hearts, and the emotional trauma of children who are caught in the middle.
Spiritually, immoral sexual behavior separates people from God. It is a rejection of His plan for human relationships and a turning away from His love and guidance. However, the Bible also offers hope and forgiveness. In the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1 – 11, Jesus shows compassion and forgiveness. He tells the woman, “Neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin.” This story serves as a reminder that no matter how far someone has strayed, God’s love and forgiveness are always available. But it also emphasizes the importance of repentance and turning away from immoral behavior. Even though the consequences of immoral love making can be dire, the door to redemption is always open, and those who turn back to God with a sincere heart can find healing and restoration.
Love Making and the Concept of Modesty
Modesty in Attitude and Behavior
Modesty is an important concept in the Bible when it comes to love making and sexual relationships. Modesty is not just about physical covering but also about having a proper attitude and behavior. In 1 Timothy 2:9 – 10, Paul writes, “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” While this passage is specifically addressing women’s appearance, the underlying principle of modesty applies to both men and women in their sexual relationships.
In the context of love making, modesty means approaching the act with respect, reverence, and a sense of privacy. It is about not being overly explicit or vulgar in one’s behavior or communication. A modest attitude recognizes the sacredness of the act and the dignity of the other person. It is a way to show that the physical aspect of the relationship is not just about gratifying one’s desires but is part of a deeper, more meaningful connection. When a couple approaches love making with modesty, they are treating each other with honor and respect, acknowledging that this is a special and intimate moment that should be cherished, not exploited or trivialized.
Modesty in Communication
Communication within a sexual relationship also needs to be guided by modesty. Couples should be able to talk openly and honestly about their desires, needs, and boundaries, but in a way that is respectful and appropriate. The Bible encourages healthy communication in all relationships, and this includes sexual relationships. However, the language used should be modest and not demeaning or objectifying.
For example, instead of using crude or degrading terms, couples can communicate their feelings and desires in a way that affirms the love and respect they have for each other. This kind of modest communication can enhance the intimacy of the relationship, making it more fulfilling and meaningful. It also helps to create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment or embarrassment. A simple “I love you” or a gentle expression of what one desires can go a long way in making the other feel loved and valued, without crossing the line into inappropriate or disrespectful language.
In conclusion, the Bible’s teachings on love making are multi – faceted. It places love making within the context of a committed, loving marriage, emphasizing its spiritual significance and the importance of mutual respect and commitment. At the same time, it cautions against immoral behavior and promotes the concept of modesty in all aspects of sexual relationships. By following these teachings, individuals and couples can experience a deeper, more fulfilling connection, both with each other and with God. It’s a path that leads to a love that is not only passionate and physical but also spiritual, emotional, and grounded in the unwavering love of God.
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