Bad words, though hurtful, are often heard in real life.
In terms of form and content, bad mouthing ranges in malice and vehemence from the level of hearsay with mild malice, to bad mouthing directed at another’s nose to one’s own face.
Speaking ill of others is clearly an act of aggression from a psychological point of view.
Although people immediately think of physical aggression, such as violence, using the term “badmouthing” is a very obvious form of aggression.
People tend to use verbal assault more frequently than violence.
Every animal has the instinct to attack, for self-defence, or for competition and strife between its own species.
In this regard, humans have the same instinct and desire.
However, in the daily life of modern society, using violence to attack opponents is against social norms and is not allowed.
The immediate superior in the unit is a guy who loves to act arrogantly. If he beats him up because he hates him, he is the one who beats him up.
What’s more, when there is a quarrel between close neighbors, violence is often used to solve it, and our daily life cannot go on smoothly.
The first way to use “words” to attack the other party is to go straight to the person’s face and call him “stupid”, “fool”, or simply say: “What you did here is wrong!”
‘I’m angry with you!
This is a form of saying it directly.
Under normal circumstances, educated people do not straightforwardly and directly launch verbal attacks.
The second way is to talk to a third party, that is, to say “bad things” behind the person’s back.
For example, after being reprimanded by the boss, the subordinate with a full stomach of anger, should have directly refuted the boss, but fear of retaliation by the boss, will lose the courage to directly refute.
What to do?
As a psychological substitute behavior, the subordinate will choose to complain to a third party, in order to vent psychological dissatisfaction.
Instead of speaking directly to the person concerned, he turns to the third party, which in many cases obviously contains the consciousness of expressing his psychological dissatisfaction.
Say bad things just to get rid of your bad feelings.
Even if things or situations don’t change because you say bad things, at least your boss’s bad mood will improve because you let it out.
However, the words that go out of your mouth and the behavior of a person who speaks ill of you may, at some point, be labeled as “the boss’s enemy.”
On the other hand, for some people, just talking behind their back and venting their psychological dissatisfaction won’t solve the problem. You must look for opportunities to contradict each other and bring them down.
In this way, it’s an attack with a very clear purpose.
For example, the intentional spreading of malicious gossip, the purpose of creating an unfavorable social environment or situation for the target, the intentional spreading of false rumors about the other party among the relevant people in the same circle, and the damage to the social reputation of the person concerned are such cases.
Why do you feel good when you say bad things?
When you feel a strong psychological dissatisfaction and can not take direct offensive behavior to the other side should do?
The first is to deliberately not be aware of the dissatisfaction, to bury it deep inside (deep psychology), to force oneself to believe that nothing has happened, that nothing is felt.
The psychoanalytic defense mechanism advocated by psychologist Freud is self-repression.
That is, to seal discontent in the unconscious world of unconsciousness.
In this way, discontent ceases to exist in the conscious world.
However, this situation is too long or too intense, it can not avoid leading to mental health, and eventually lead to mental and physical diseases.
Second, vent to someone or something other than the person concerned.
For example, after receiving a gratuitous reprimand from your boss, go to the bathroom and make faces in the mirror or kick trash cans away.
Of course, this is a way to vent your dissatisfaction, but perhaps a more common way is to invite a congenial colleague or subordinate to a hotel with you, and say whatever you want about the person concerned to let it all out.
According to the attack theory of desire dissatisfaction by American psychologist Miller, once people are trapped in desire dissatisfaction, they will take aggressive behavior, through which they can spread their inner dissatisfaction.
From a psychological point of view, whether physical violence (the object is best controlled in the garbage can or toilet door and the like), or direct verbal attack, behind the back of the mouth, the accumulation of dissatisfaction in the heart is not vented out, dissatisfaction will accumulate more and more, vented out, the mood will become more or less comfortable.
However, in contrast to silent trash cans and toilet doors, if the object is a human, there is a chance of backlash.
In particular, direct face-to-face venting will lead to a fierce counterattack.
However, if you confide in a third party, you will get the third party’s approval and arouse others’ sympathy.
Psychologically speaking, it’s more reassuring and satisfying.
To tell the third party can not say to the parties, and get the audience’s approval, so as to feel a sense of unspeakable comfort, which is also an important way of “spiritual vent”.
Through the above actions, the subconscious pent-up dissatisfaction can be released.
As long as the person you’re talking to is not the disgruntled person, no matter who it is, the act of letting go of your pent-up dissatisfaction will not change.
Because it’s much easier and easier to talk to a third party, allowing you to vent your frustration.
Why are people interested in saying bad things?
In our society, if you speak ill of others in public, no one can punish you as long as you do not break the law, but for a well-bred person, it is immoral behavior.
However, some people still have to secretly say bad things about others.
This is because the more the behavior is not allowed, the more people want to do it. Even if they break the taboo and say bad things, they will give the listener the impression that what they are saying is true.
Especially when you add, “Only here.”
“Tell no one else what you tell yourself.”
As if the contents of the bad words were true, it was valuable information.
And the topic is often not present in the person’s character shortcomings, life problems, work or interpersonal mistakes made a series of negative topics around the other person.
There seems to be a feeling that speaking ill of each other is taboo, but I can’t stand it anymore and I say it, so it’s all true.
But why can’t this “only talked about here” trash talk stop there?
This is because, everyone is interested in bad words, everyone wants to spread bad words.
As an old saying goes, “Bad news travels fast”, which vividly illustrates the speed with which bad news can spread.
And if you want to spread the word more quickly and widely, be sure to add something like “only here” or “absolutely keep it a secret.” This way, the bad word will spread more quickly and widely.
Why is that?
One reason: bad words have “credibility.”
The act of speaking ill of others is not something that can be changed if one wants to.
From the bad-mouthing person’s point of view, bad-mouthing has the benefit of being able to purify feelings and remove dissatisfaction.
However, it is not good for the person who is badmouthed, and it is never pleasant to be badmouthed.
For this reason, how to say the bad words a little better is particularly important.
“It is true that in that work he has used his strengths,” “he has a good side of character,” “he has more or less had a little help from him before,” and do not forget to add such kind of compliment.
Even though I am speaking ill of him now, I have made the same mistake, and anyone could have made such a mistake, he added a flattering remark to show that he was not making a personal attack.
However, with alcohol, once the atmosphere is heated up, eventually the bad-mouthing content or level of negativity will escalate and the bad-mouthing you didn’t mean to say will spill out.
You have to be careful about that.
Also, don’t forget to use the “all’s well that ends well” psychological technique after you vent.
In other words, don’t forget to say to the listener, “I’ve been listening to my complaints today, and I’ve got it off my chest.
Thanks to you, I can go to work happily tomorrow. Thank you very much.
Let’s drink another time!”
Smile and shake hands.
Listen to people so far has been to speak ill of you nag, although will think “a good guy, dare you say so ill he (she)”, the handshake and a smile because of you, he will think, “” if he’s cooled down, will forget you just poison tongue, say bad things about people will think of” improved mood he spit out a sigh, “feel to help you,
And no longer think you hate the object of the bad word.
The human body has a psychological mechanism that leaves a deep impression on what it sees and hears at the end.
Of course, saying bad things is just a kind of catharsis to their bad mood, call a person in life do not say a bad word to others, it is probably impossible.
Psychologically, it is interesting to know that a person can rationally deal with other people saying bad things.
