Marriage, you want to marry a person, then you find out, you are actually married to a family.
You find that your husband has to listen respectfully to another woman as well as you.
That’s your mother-in-law.
And then you have to get along with her. You have no choice.
So how do you cope if your mother-in-law doesn’t share your beliefs?
“Change comes in small increments, and you can’t expect your 60-year-old mother-in-law to completely embrace your values and spending habits overnight.
Too drastic a change will make the elderly feel insecure.
Qu Huichao, a 29-year-old civil servant, offered her tips – to change her mother-in-law’s old ideas and habits, not to rush, but to do it bit by bit.
Qu Huichao’s mother-in-law brought a lot of old furniture with her when she moved to the new house, which even Qu’s husband could not bear to see. However, Qu Huichao, as a daughter-in-law, spoke for her mother-in-law and fully understood the old man’s nostalgia.
After Qu’s mother-in-law moved to a new home, she took the initiative to eliminate a batch of electricity from her hometown that had been in service for more than 10 years, and three months later, she eliminated the dining tables and chairs.
After knocking out several times, the old furniture that STAYS can call classic.
“I live with my mother-in-law,” Qu said. “I can only influence her and change her consumption concept bit by bit.
It would also be unfair to her to force her mother-in-law to adapt to us. She would feel deprived of control over her life and would feel disrespected by the younger generation.
When resistance sets in, it is very difficult to change her thrift and nostalgia.”
2, Qiao borrow the bridge, love Li Nan’s mother-in-law heavy courtesy, narrow heart, good sulk, Li Nan a Mid-Autumn Festival to go out to participate in the company’s reward entertainment and wine party, failed to return to her mother-in-law’s family reunion, mother-in-law unexpectedly did not visit the house for more than a month, call the past also called father-in-law, to express their disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Li Nan know at this time to “put the facts speak the truth”, that the wine party how how can ease colleagues contradiction, create new resources, mother-in-law can not listen to, and often you emphasize the reason more, mother-in-law more angry, “anyway, your things are important, only the old is not important.”
You can’t get a word out of your head.
Li Nan called again and called his son ready to shout to his father-in-law: “Grandpa, I want to talk to grandma.”
Mother-in-law monolithic attitude, encounter grandson’s sweet words, soft and like dough.
It is absolutely wise to bridge the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law with the help of the next generation’s petulant and angry words.
Li Nan smiled and said, take advantage of the mother-in-law’s attitude a loose, give some steps you quickly down ah, don’t pretend to be reserved, to hold back the strength of a high down.
The older the mother-in-law, the more close to the child, to coax, to satisfy her wish as far as possible, to admit gambling.